I am Gerard M, PhD in Idiotism and Lameness. I have published many journals but it was never seen anywhere. Here are some theories I think you would find relevant in your life.

1. Why chocolate milk is not used to ferment into yoghurt.

This is rather simple theory : Lactose -> Lactic Acid

                                                     Chocolate -> Chocolic Acid

That is why it is not used. 

2. Why Myspace & Facebook are enemies

Myspace + Facebook = My face + Spacebook (still researching)

3. World is a cooking pan

Animals/Humans/Trees = Ingredients

Oceans/Seas/Lakes = Water to make broth

Global Warming = The temperature to cook us!

Sand and sorts = Spices

What do you get? A nice serving for 1

4. Equations

Lame + Coffee = Very lame and crazy

Coffee + PMS = Don't get near that damn person

Gerard - Coffee & Metal in the morning = Zombie

Gerard + Coffee & Metal in the morning = super hyper active crazy lunatic

Gerard alone = a damn boring person

This shows that Gerard is an unstable subject. Requires stimulation to get things done. 

5. Theory of moving islands

This theory have been used secretly by Singapore

Connect 1000 Subs to Singapore in 1 direction and pull it.

Will move the island to any location on earth!

6. Theory of boredom

1. Brain capacity is too big resulting in large areas empty

2. When spaces don't fill up, air becomes stuffy with no circulation

3. Reaches a point where it bursts out and that person starts talking rubbish.

*Danger* Reading of theories may result in mental illness called Bullshitism and No sensinitis.

Thank you for your time.

*Note to readers* If you think all this are true, you really are an idiot =)

Gee!